An IIT, an NYU degree, a job in New York—yet this techie says his marriage value at UP is "almost nil." The Internet is responding

An IIT graduate working in New York sparked a lively debate on social media after he firmly stated that his impressive education and professional qualifications still did not make him a desirable partner in the Uttar Pradesh marriage market.

The post on X was shared by Akash Sampurnanand Pandey, who suggested that although he graduated from IIT-BHU, has a master’s degree from New York University (NYU), and works as a software engineer in New York, he still falls short of the traditional expectations of many families when evaluating potential grooms.

“Crack IIT and become a collector”

In his post, Mr. Pandey reflected on the aspirations that many children in Uttar Pradesh and Bihar grow up hearing from their families.

“If you are even remotely smart in a UP or Bihar household, growing up you are told two things: crack IIT and become a collector,” he wrote.

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He went on to outline his own academic and professional journey, describing himself as a 31-year-old software engineer based in New York. According to the post, he works on the 60th floor of the World Trade Center and has a master’s degree from NYU after completing his undergraduate studies at IIT-BHU.

Despite ticking many boxes associated with academic and career success, Mr Pandey joked that his prospects in the arranged marriage market remain limited.

“It is clear that my value in the UP marriage market is almost nil as not only did I not become an IAS officer but I could not get any government job,” he wrote.

The post quickly gained traction online, attracting reactions from users weighing the perceived status of government jobs compared to private sector careers.

Reaction on social networks

Many users agreed that government positions, especially in the civil services, enjoy considerable prestige in some parts of northern India and are often viewed favorably in matrimonial discussions.

One user wrote: “And also can pay real salary of 5-10 IAS & IPS.”

Another user questioned Mr Pandey’s view, commenting: “How could you be so educated and probably exposed and yet so aloof?

Maybe because you’re still racking up EQ on top of that big IQ you have. That said, why should you even care about your near-zero marriage prospects? Can you marry anywhere you want or is it important to marry a saryupari brahmin girl?

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A third user argued that social attitudes have evolved significantly over time.

“Dude, I hope you get a time machine and make it to 2026. You’d be surprised at your so-called ‘market value of marriage’ in UP. Time and thought processes have changed drastically, guess your perception must too,” the user wrote.

Others pointed to changing preferences among families and the growing recognition of careers in technology and the private sector.

“Bro, that may be true in some cases, but things have changed. My neighbor, an IIT KGP graduate working in MathWorks, is getting lots of marriage proposals, but he wants ₹50 million dowry. There are many such cases now because people know that civil service jobs are limited,” read another comment.

The IAS versus IIT debate is resurfacing

The viral post also revived a long-standing debate about whether government positions still carry more social prestige than elite careers in the private sector.

One user claimed that graduates from leading engineering institutes remain highly sought after in the husband market.

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“Not true. IIT Grooms are highly valued assets in the marriage market. IAS and Govt employees are the safest, most corrupt breed at work and most hated recently, though they are highly valued by UP Bihar parents in the marriage market,” the user wrote.

The discussion reflects a larger conversation about how marriage preferences are evolving in India. While government jobs have traditionally been associated with stability, status and social respectability, careers in technology, finance and multinationals have gained more recognition over the years.

Mr. Pandey’s post caught the attention of many users not only for its humor but also because it touched on a cultural debate familiar to many Indian families – whether professional success is measured by global opportunities and achievements in the private sector, or by the security and prestige often associated with government services.