Would you attend your own funeral? “Living funerals” are on the rise in America. A case has come to light where a woman in the United States, who was told she had only months to live, decided to celebrate her life with loved ones before she died by holding what she called a “restival” – a farewell gathering filled with music, dance, meditation and art.
According to a report from The Washington Postthe event reflected the growing trend of “living funerals,” where people facing terminal illnesses gather family and friends to say goodbye while they are still alive.
The woman, 56-year-old Ember Maucere of Boise, organized the three-day event earlier this year after learning that her breast cancer had aggressively returned and spread to her lungs and bones. Doctors reportedly told her she had six to 12 months to live.
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More than 100 people attended the gathering at her home. Guests arrived in colorful attire and participated in activities including live music performances, silent discos, food events, meditation circles and art performances.
Her son Griffin Mullin told The Washington Post that the experience was deeply emotional and healing for those present.
“We would just look around and see everybody smiling and crying,” he said. “It was very healing.
Maucere died on April 29, almost a month after the rally. According to her family, she did not want a traditional funeral, believing that the celebration had already served that purpose.
“That was it, that was the point,” her son said, adding that she wanted the occasion to feel joyful rather than somber.
What are “living burials”?
The Post report noted that “living funerals” — also called pre-funerals, live vigils or FUN erals — are becoming increasingly popular among people diagnosed with terminal illnesses.
Unlike conventional funerals held after death, these events allow people to hear tributes, reconnect with loved ones and share last memories while they are still alive.
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Experts cited in the report said such gatherings can also help families process grief collectively, instead of dealing with the loss in isolation after a death.
Donna Walker-Muhammed, a death doula based in Alexandria, told the newspaper that she has helped organize several such ceremonies over the past few years.
“It’s a way to honor a life in real time and not just honor a person,” she said.
Death doulas are non-medical professionals who support people emotionally and spiritually during the end-of-life process. According to experts cited in the publication, the rise in live burials is linked to a broader “death-positive” movement that encourages more open conversations about mortality and dying.
Families choose celebration over sadness
The report also highlighted similar experiences from other families in the US.
Kelsey Kappauf of Dana Point} recalled throwing a farewell party for her father, Steve Runge, after he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in 2020.
Instead of calling it a live funeral, the family framed the event as a celebration of her parents’ love and marriage. About 70 friends and relatives attended the vow renewal ceremony, which took place just before her parents’ 35th wedding anniversary.
Kappauf said guests understood the emotional meaning of the event when her father shared the final dance with his wife.
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“Everybody knew this was goodbye,” she told The Washington Post.
She later became a death doula herself and said the experience changed the way she viewed grief and mortality.
Another example cited in the report involved Tanner Martin, a 29-year-old Draper man who was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. He and his wife reportedly organized a “Hollywood premiere” live funeral in 2024 at a local theater where friends and family watched a film documenting his life.
His wife, Shay Martin, said the meeting allowed him to witness how deeply loved and supported he is.
A changing approach to death rituals
Experts told the newspaper that funerals in general are becoming more personalized and less bound by traditional customs.
Laura Lyster-Mensh, a death doula associated with Congressional Cemetery, said modern memorial rituals increasingly reflect the personality and preferences of individuals.
Still, she noted, some families struggle with the idea because openly acknowledging a death can be emotionally overwhelming.
For Maucer’s family, however, the meeting became a lasting memory filled with gratitude rather than sadness.
Her son recalled how the guests exchanged stories and heartfelt tributes during the final day of the “rest” as his mother watched proudly.
“She was beaming,” he said, according to The Washington Post, “with the price of a lifetime.”
