‘We will not allow our child to be thrown into the river’: Sonia Gandhi recalls the loss of her firstborn in her memoirs | Today’s news
Congress leader Sonia Gandhi recounts the heartbreaking experience of losing her first child in her recently released memoir Belonging: A Journey of Love.
In the book, Gandhi recalls how she filled the Gandhi household with joy in September 1968 when she announced her pregnancy. Even the usually stern Indira Gandhi showed rare affection as she hugged her daughter-in-law and exclaimed, “One big baby has another baby!” However, the happiness was short-lived, The Times of India reported.
On January 18, 1969, Sonia gave birth to a premature baby, two months before her due date. Although the couple rejoiced at first, the family was soon devastated by the news that their newborn had died.
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Gandhi publicly recounted a deeply personal tragedy for the first time, writing that her husband Rajiv Gandhi and brother-in-law Sanjay Gandhi buried the child at Feroz Gandhi’s Mehrauli estate.
“We instantly fell in love with him”
Gandhi recalled the moment she first laid eyes on her newborn son and described him as a tiny but perfectly formed baby.
“I heard the baby’s first cry when it was placed in the incubator. Later, Rajiv took me to see him, a small, perfectly formed boy with thick black hair and long, slender fingers. We stared at him together, Rajiv’s arm around my shoulder. We fell in love with him instantly.”
She added that doctors had already warned Rajiv Gandhi that the newborn had little chance of survival. The child died at 6:30 the next morning.
She further wrote: “With Amie Aunty by his side, he gently broke it for me when the end came at 6:30 in the morning.” “No, that was impossible! Why, why,” I continued to ask. We were both shocked and heartbroken; we held each other tight. I screamed my heart out and Rajiv, despite his “stiff upper lip”, was also stiff.”
Indira Gandhi rushed to the hospital
According to the memoir, Indira Gandhi, who was the Prime Minister at the time, interrupted the tour and rushed to the hospital to see the grieving couple.
Gandhi recalled: “She hugged us, her eyes were red and swollen, and she sat with us for a long time. She said she wanted to stay with us, but she had to finish her tour. She left early in the morning, full of sadness: She too was so looking forward to the happy event.”
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Sonia Gandhi opposed traditional last rites
After the death of the child, the family was faced with the difficult question of how to perform his last rites. Gandhi wrote that according to Hindu tradition, newborns are not cremated and are usually immersed in a river. However, she was not willing to accept this practice for her child.
“No,” I whispered. “No matter what, I won’t let our child be thrown into the river.”… “No, I couldn’t do that to my child, no matter how sacred the river was,” I said, sobbing. How could I agree to do something that felt so foreign and heartless to my little child who had already been deprived of his chance to live?”
Gandhi is said to have recalled a disturbing sight from her past that strengthened her resistance: the body of a swollen man trapped near the Okhla barrage while stray dogs tried to pull him out.
‘The poison of those words scarred my heart’
The loss left Gandhi depressed and struggling with guilt. Her grief was compounded when a right-wing opposition newspaper published an article with the headline “Indira Gandhi Fails in Her Attempt to Become a Bastard’s Grandmother.”
Recalling the impact of the article, she wrote, “The venom of those words scarred my heart. How could people be so cruel? What did I do to deserve such malice? The hurt caused by that malicious comment added to the grief of my loss and my sense of inadequacy.”
Gandhi announced her next pregnancy in October 1969 and gave birth to Rahul Gandhi on 19 June 1970.
