The man once saw the banana bark on the road, beat his chest and shouted, “God, I’ll have to slip again.” Another match in India-Pakistan feels exactly like this.
On the eve of the match, Pakistan would fear another mauling. If Indian fans of cricket got their way, if BCCI boycotted a annoying neighbor, Pakistan would be spared another fall. But that’s a separate story.
It wasn’t the smallest lately. India plunged them into countless direct clashes of the World Cup and owns the last few meetings as a boss. Last time Pakistan really won when Javed Mandad was more than Samdhi Dawood Ibrahim. Since then, it has been less rivalry and more recurring reminder of the Indian superior fire forces – Brahmos Bumrah, Rafale Rohit, INS VIRAT, Indian weapons of mass humiliation.
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The laws of probability suggest that it will be another Snozefest with Pakistan, which will explode at the end like those terrorist nodes in Muridke. Of course, miracles happen, but only if India has a rare bad day.
So why bother with this cricket release of the Sindoor Operation, where the playground could turn Crimson with Pakistani tears again?
Simple. It’s not just a sport; It is a public service announcement for Pakistani dough, pitch, economy and ego.
Here’s how:
Support for the Pakistani economy
Pakistan exports nothing but Ajmal kebabs. It produces nothing but lies, propaganda and terrorist cottages.
But Shukrana, India. Every indication-pacist thriller sends the Pakistanan silk industry to Overdrive. Lahore factories are spewing tissue faster than jihadists, because fans supply boxes to clean the inevitable flood of salty despair-organically absorbent for parts that burn most.
It’s Jolt HDP. Who needs to help the IMF when you have a bilateral beatdowns? India wins (spoiler: we do, in 8 of the last 10 T20i), the Pakistani economy calls to the bank – literally.
Indus Water Treaty on therapy
Forget the coastal disputes, the real solver of the water crisis is in the field. Every time India accumulates on 300, the Pakistani rivers increase the collective sobs-rays, Chenab, all get a tear.
It is the solution of the mother of nature to this problem indus water contracts: “I apologize for the dams, bro, but here’s the monsoon of suffering how to balance books.” Lahore Water Scorcity? Solved. Carachi drought alleviated? Double check.
Islamabad ecologists are secretly grateful – “Global warming?
India just does what it should, Pakistan is moisturizing. Philanthropy at best.
To keep employed TV anchors
Nothing connects (or divide) a nation as 22 sweaty men chasing a red ball, but real profits are television anchors.
Hamid Mir dials the volume and asks the conspiracy, “The nation wants to know – was it a Bumrah Bouncer or Brahmos?” And the whole Pakistan is dependent.
In the studies of Samaa TV, retirement cricket, retirement general, and aunt from Ban Gala shouts over herself, as if it were a family wedding, spoiled.
It is the main health repair: Anchors will get their cardio from gestures, spectators from nice aunts and Hawk sponsors everything from Antacid (for this burning after the match!). Bless India.
Keep influences in the biz
Pakistani tiktokers don black bracelets and lip synchronization to sad Bollywood traces: “Why do Kohl hate us? #JusticeForbabar #cryinginurd.”
Girls dialing in their best and purr: “Ye hai hai hami team, Aur Yahan Dhulai Ho Rahi Hai.”
Meanwhile, the crazy duo bakes its own heroes in a wailing mixture, Punjabi fillers and melodies: “mere gh ** te ka king.”
Smulsian ephemeral, reel for tracking. Where Pakistani would be influenced without this cricket festival of sadness!
Practice for Pakistan’s paddlers
Back in the days of sanding paper and bottlecaps, no pitching could rock it like a Pakistani sailor, with or without a doctor.
But now Bowling Pakistan is like his economy – as soon as he promises, he is now running on the creaks of Shaheen Afridi.
Once a promising fast pitch, its threat is now limited to the first two exceeding when the ball loses its shine. Shaheen as a Pakistani head? Pakistan would like China to also make several fast pitchners.
Until then, however, Pakistan needs practice. And without Indian doughs, they would be stuck B on flat Pakistan’s playgrounds. Give them it, boys.
For the hard love of Baap-Beta
And let’s not do – at the end of all this is about heritage. India enters the field not only to victory, but also to remind our neighbor that Baap Baap Hota Hai, Beta Beta.
We are OG, Blueprint, Dad, who appears with wisdom, six, economy, IT unicorns, busy cities, prosperous markets, stable government, all with a blink, which says, “It could also be yours, a child.” More tissues?
To cancel it? Yeah, maybe. But let the other ideas start – this time as a philanthropy. It’s not a sport, it’s a duty. My father knows best.
The banana bark does not go anywhere.
(Sandipan Sharma, our guest author, likes to write about cricket, cinema, music and politics. They believe they are connected.)
– ends
Published:
Kingshuk Kusari
Published on:
September 14, 2025
Tune
