A Dutch woman living in Mumbai has sparked a wider conversation online after sharing her personal experience of raising a child in India and comparing it to parenting in the Netherlands. Her thoughts, posted on Instagram, resonated with many parents navigating a cross-cultural lifestyle.
Ivana, who has been living in India for almost nine years, shared her thoughts while celebrating her daughter’s second birthday. Instead of calling one country “better” than another, she emphasized that cross-cultural parenting is about understanding trade-offs and adapting to different systems.
“One of the biggest shifts for me was realizing that it’s not about judging what’s better, it’s about learning how things work differently,” she noted in her post.
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A key theme in her comparison is the role of community. Ivana described parenting in the Netherlands as often feeling like a “solo marathon” where parents manage responsibilities largely on their own. In contrast, she said life in Mumbai offers a strong support system with family members, neighbors and even residential communities actively involved in a child’s upbringing.
“In Mumbai, the ‘village’ is real,” she wrote, adding that someone is always around to help, play with or take care of a child. However, she admitted that it took time to adjust to this level of shared responsibility given her independent upbringing.
She also pointed out how children are perceived in public space. According to Ivana, toddlers in the Netherlands are not always welcome in certain settings such as restaurants, while in India children are more accepted in social settings. This, she suggested, creates a more inclusive atmosphere for families.
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She noticed that parenting philosophies also differed significantly. While Dutch culture encourages early independence – for example, children cycle to school at a young age – Indian parenting tends to emphasize interdependence and community ties. Ivana said she appreciates the Indian sense of belonging, but also believes it’s important for children to develop independent thinking and learn to challenge authority when needed.
Language exposure is another area where he sees a unique advantage. Growing up in Mumbai, her daughter naturally picked up several languages, including Hindi, English and Dutch, along with words from the Punjabi and Bengali spoken by the people around her. Ivana described this as an organic cognitive benefit that she did not have to plan for.
Perceptions of security, she noted, differ significantly between the two countries. In cities like Amsterdam, children often enjoy more physical independence outdoors, while in Mumbai, safety is more closely linked to supervision and limited mobility. According to her, this difference required a significant change in thinking.
Another contrast is education. Ivana emphasized that the academic pressure starts much earlier in India than in the Netherlands, where early childhood education is more play-oriented. She described it as one of the most challenging adjustments in her parenting journey.
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At the same time, she recognized certain practical advantages in India, such as the availability of domestic help. This support, she says, allows her to spend more time with her child without feeling overwhelmed – something that might be more difficult in the Netherlands, where childcare is often introduced at an early age.
Reflecting on her journey, Ivana admits that raising a child in Mumbai was overwhelming at first because of the stark differences from her own upbringing. However, connecting with other parents, including Dutch Dutch mothers, helped her navigate the transition.
Her post struck a chord online, with many users relating to the cultural contrasts she described. It also raises a broader question: is there a single “right” way to raise children in an increasingly globalized world, or is parenting ultimately shaped by context, culture and personal priorities?
Ivana’s experience suggests the latter – emphasizing that while the systems may differ, each offers its own set of strengths and challenges.
