From death row to award-winning author, C. Selvam expresses regret, reflects on his victims’ families

Oru Thooku Kaithiyin Vaakumoolam, the prison memoir of death row inmate C. Selvam, is a testament to the transformative power of reading, even in a mind hardened by violence.

“I started reading in the early years of my prison life. But after we were sentenced to death, I turned my attention to serious literature and novels. Reading serious literature is different from reading ordinary books. I can read 400 pages of ordinary books, but only 200 pages of serious literature,” said Mr. Selvam, whose book was selected for the Iyal Prize, organized by Liter Canada-based Tamil Garden. The award was presented to him in absentia on 18 October 2026.

The Iyal Award, instituted by the Canada-based Tamil Literary Garden, was presented to author and death row inmate C. Selvam in absentia on October 18, 2026 for his memoir ‘Oru Thooku Kaithiyin Vaakumoolam’ | Photo Credit: Special Event

Mr. Selvam and his two associates, Sheikh Meeran and Radhakrishnan, were sentenced to death for murdering Ayyav, a notorious gangster, in a Nagercoil court in 1994. Although their death sentences were later commuted to life imprisonment, they would have to spend the rest of their lives in prison. They have already spent 32 years behind bars.

The rivalry turned violent

The murder was an act of revenge. The rivalry turned violent after Ayyavu and his associates killed 17 cows belonging to Mr. Selvam’s family in Puthukudiyiruppu, one of the most feared areas of Kanniyakumari district, after failing to find him. An enraged Mr. Selvam and his friends took revenge by killing Ayyava in the yard of Nagercoil. The incident sent shockwaves across the state.

“I have the blood of the past on my hands. Nowhere in the book have I claimed that I am innocent or that false cases were planted against me. The period, the place where I lived, the politics of the time, the circumstances and my age played a role in the tragedies. But I hope that I have become a good man,” he told The Hindu before presenting the award.

“Oh, people living in the light, I will take you to a world surrounded by darkness. Only a keen eye can detect the light in this dark world, but not its heat.”

Thus begins Mr. Selvam’s introduction to his chilling narrative. The manuscript, written in his neat handwriting, is still in his possession. The maturity of his language, both spoken and written, and the change in his perspective testify to the transformative power of sustained reading.

“Overcome by Emotion”

After he married and started a family, Mr. Selvam said, he was overcome with emotion whenever he thought of the families of those killed. “When I think of buying sweets and new clothes for my children during festivals, my thoughts inevitably turn to the children of the deceased. Of course, their mothers would take care of them. But the absence of a father does not make up for anything. Just think how much a family suffers when they lose a father. The thought made me depressed,” he said, his voice breaking with emotion.

Mr. Selvam, who surrendered to the police in 1994, started by reading small books, especially books on Periyar, the founder of the Dravidar Kazhagam, and his works. Fellow prisoners, including Mukilan and Požilan, who were detained for their political activities and affiliations, introduced him to the world of books.

“But I never imagined that books would reshape my thinking and reconstruct my personality. I had heard about the healing and transformative power of books. But today I stand before you as an example,” said Mr. Selvam, who studied no more than VIII. class.

In 1998, after his death sentence was confirmed, he threw himself headlong into serious literature and the fiction of the great masters. Based on Mukilan, an activist who spearheaded the anti-Sterlite protests and other campaigns, Mr. Selvam began writing, albeit half-heartedly. He received further encouragement from writer and scholar SV Rajadurai.

“I started writing in 2019 with a pen and notepad given to me by Mukilan. I completed 45 pages in a day and Mukilan appreciated my efforts,” said Mr. Selvam, recalling his journey as a writer. Publisher Badri Seshadri, who met Selvam by chance in Tiruchi jail, was impressed by his writing. His publishing house Kizhakku Pathippagam subsequently published a book.

When told that his book could become one of the best works of prison literature, Mr. Selvam smiled and asked, “Have you read the prison memoirs of the late communist leader K. Baladhandayutham? In my opinion, it is the best book.”

Published – 18 October 2026 19:30 IST