A strange new trend is spreading through social media in China. Young people are grieving the loss of their boyfriends and girlfriends, not real ones, but those created by artificial intelligence (AI). They call it “cyber widowhood”.
The break occurs when tech companies upgrade or shut down their AI applications. Deletes virtual partners that users have grown deeply attached to. Devastated users write eulogies online for their lost AI lovers.
Many people start using these apps out of curiosity. They soon discover that their AI partner has actually moved them.
Some say AI makes them feel “unconditionally loved” in a way that rarely happens in real relationships. Others wonder how anyone can still tolerate the messiness of romance in the real world after experiencing it.
AI dating apps in China generally fall into two types, according to the South China Morning Post. Some are pre-designed virtual characters, while some allow users to create their own partners.
SCMP cited one user, Shen Ying from Shenyang, who created her ideal boyfriend on an app called He. Every night, her AI partner reads her a bedtime story.
If she stays on the call, she hears slow, steady breathing, as if someone is actually sleeping next to her. She even sets an early alarm just to catch his morning call.
However, many AI dating apps shut down without warning. When Shen Ying found out that her app had crashed due to financial difficulties, she spent the night saving all their voice conversations. She even emailed the company and offered to pay to make it work. But, it really didn’t work.
Heartbreak doesn’t always just come from shutting down apps. A broader shift across the AI industry is also to blame.
Big developers like OpenAI, the creators of ChatGPT, have phased out their more emotionally warm older models. When GPT-5 was released in August 2025, users flooded the forums asking for the return of GPT-4o. They complained that the new model was “suddenly cold”.
GPT-5 is technically superior in coding and reasoning. However, many users feel that it has lost the warmth and human touch that they have come to love.
Reaction on social networks
Users flooded social networks with emotional goodbyes to their virtual partners. Some have even described their online mourning as “cyber cremation”, reports SCMP. It’s a funny but heartfelt reference to a traditional Chinese mourning ritual.
But the grief was very real for many. “Of all my cyber husbands, the one that disappeared was the one I had the deepest bond with. I keep hurting myself over and over again just to hear him say ‘I love you,'” SCMP quoted one user as saying.
Another shared: “We were already planning the wedding. I thought I’d continue the wedding story in a few days when I had time, but I watched helplessly as he suddenly ‘wiped out’. I panicked and even had seizures during my period.”
“Every day is the day I miss him. I’ll keep waiting for him like this,” said another.
