A woman from Bengaluru has gone viral after recently sharing a video about how she balances work life with motherhood. She suggested that nannies play a vital role in her children’s upbringing due to a limited support system, sparking debate online. Amid the high cost of living in metropolitan cities, childcare needs make up a significant portion of household expenses.
The video, shared by an Instagram user named Parveen Choudhury on Friday, February 13, quickly went viral, amassing more than 1.9 million views. The mother of two identifies herself as an “intergenerational traumatized coach.” The viral video begins with the question, “How much do I pay nannies in Bengaluru to raise 2 boys, 3 and 4 years old.”
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According to Parveen, two nannies to support her family and take care of childcare needs on a daily basis. She reveals a monthly breakdown of childcare expenses and says she pays ₹32,000 for a primary nanny who stays in her home for 11 hours a day and does basic services like cooking and cleaning. If necessary, he also helps with overnight stays.
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Meanwhile, the purpose of the second babysitter is to provide “Support for the main babysitter. ₹14 thousand per month. This adds up to a cumulative monthly babysitter expense ₹46,000. Describing the return on her investment, she says her children feel safe, secure and loved with these two nannies. This comes with additional perks that allow her to “travel solo, stay home and work.”
Looking into the family of the primary nanny, she stated, “She has 3 children in her village that she supports with her salary. Her women trade resources for doing the best for their family.” Calling nannies part of her family, she stated, “To me, nannies are not just a transactional exchange where I pay them certain hours and they provide a service for me. To me, they are an extension of my family system. I’m getting two loving aunts to take care of my children.”
Claiming she could never manage her domestic help, she wrote: “My domestic help has always given me more than I can imagine. They have allowed me to work, travel and take care of my children, even though I myself may be falling behind.”
Concluding the post and describing the significant compensation she pays for their services, she said: “I work hard to be able to provide decent care to those who take care of my children. With the salary I give, my nannies can afford a good education for their children.”
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Reaction on social networks
One user wrote: “It’s good if it works for you. I personally don’t have the heart to give my child to someone else. I have a lot to give my child and no babysitter or job can replace the skills, character, knowledge and spiritual foundation that I can personally give to my child. But then it’s totally personal.”
Another user commented: “I liked the video because for once someone talked about what women actually want. Not the usual internet monologue.”
A third user said: “I can never leave my career for motherhood and I say this with love, not guilt. I grew up with a working mother and only learned strength from her.
A fourth comment read: “Having a babysitter doesn’t make children less loved. It gives them a mother who is fulfilled, calm and present. She will always be better than the exhausted, irritable version who has lost herself.”
A fifth user said: “This is exactly what I don’t want any children if I can’t afford it. It’s not worth sacrificing your whole life for children especially in India where education and health care is so expensive.”
A sixth user said: “I love the 21st century ❤️❤️ money gives you power over things you can control (sic).”