Young people in China have started a new dating trend. They are now offering their ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends to strangers as well as job referrals.
Social media users share detailed profiles, personal reviews and relationship histories. This helps strangers assess compatibility and reduce emotional risk.
The idea gained traction after a viral post asked for an internal referral for a friend. It drew both humorous and serious reactions on social media.
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“Can any sisters refer me to their ex? I really don’t understand why dating is so hard. If I don’t find a normal guy soon, I might have to start drinking herbs to get my balance back,” the South China Morning Post quoted the viral post as saying.
Many discussants described their ex-partners with workplace-style language, list height, job stability, ability to cook, and emotional behavior. Some even contained flaws or long-term observations based on years of experience.
“Born 1995, 183cm tall, works in a state-owned enterprise, emotionally stable, can cook. Downside: a bit of a mummy’s boy. Worth considering,” SCMP quoted one user as sharing.
One of the posts jokingly shared: “Location: Shanghai, Age: 28, Gender: Male, MBTI: ISFJ, Zodiac Sign: Cancer. Pros: 185cm tall, fair skinned, works in public sector, emotionally stable as a rock. Weaknesses: Poor kissing skills, swears while playing video games.”
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“Condition: 90% new (no domestic violence, no infidelity, long distance breakup),” the post added.
One user shared about her boyfriend: “He likes soy milk in the morning, grinds his teeth at night, needs half an hour of coaxing when he’s angry, and prefers the lights off during sex.”
Proponents say the trend stems from a deep distrust of modern dating culture and frequent app scams. Many are afraid of manipulators, scammers or people hiding behind doctored photos and fake careers.
Choosing a tested partner is safer than risking an unknown relationship. Some users believe that past partners offer honest evidence of character and behavior. Others praise the clearer information and reduced emotional danger.
But critics warn that this referral culture treats people like products on the market. They argue that romance should not be like shopping for vegetables or groceries.
Some offer boyfriends, husbands
Some social media users promise, jokingly or not, to recommend current partners if there’s a future breakup: “What about my current boyfriend? I’ll let you know if we break up. He’s actually pretty generous.”
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Some even offer their husbands.
“I can refer my husband to you. If necessary, I am willing to divorce him. My child is grown, I don’t need him anymore. He is perfect for someone who wants children but doesn’t have time to raise them,” came the bizarre reply.
“He’s pretty good with kids. He has a 120 square meter apartment in Beijing. He works from home, does housework, and my in-laws are quite old, probably won’t be here in a few years. If you think he’s a good fit, I can divorce him now.”
